Jesus Hates Zombies – Those Slack-Jaw Blues

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2007 | Alterna Comics

Created By: Stephen Lindsay
Writing: Stephen Lindsay
Script: Michael Bartolotta
Letters: Jason Baroody
Art: Jordan M Dalton | Danilo Beyruth | Gary A. Gabbard | Joel Cook | Steve Willhite | Stephanie O’Donnell | Tomm Gabbard | Justin Stewart | Jeff McComsey | Lonny Chant | Lauren Monardo | Mark Lauthier | Chris McJunkin | Andrew Pollock | Anthony Summey

It took six days for the zombie plague to spread across the earth. There’s a few people alive, though, hiding out in a church waiting for their leader, Jesus who’s sweatin’ it out with his dad at the spa. They having a nice chat about the zombie plague and it’s decided that Jesus is going down there to kick some zombie butt. But there’s a catch. People must believe in him in order to have any power.

He has quite the task ahead of him and it’s not easy. He’s down on Earth, there’s zombies and crazy survivors running about, and he’s got to find the one church that has the people he’s meant to lead. And you think people are going to believe him when he says he’s Jesus? There’s some good writing and conflict in here, and even zombie clowns. And yes. Jesus hates clowns.

I have no doubt that the mere existence of this comic is going to offend some folk. No one is forcing you to buy this comic and no one is forcing you to read this review. As for the rest of us that have no problems with subjects like satire, comedy, and fiction, we’ll have fun watching Jesus lay waste to the dead.

I like a lot of things about this book, though. I like Jesus, or J-Man, being a badass wandering around bashing zombies with a baseball bat. I love his father’s fondness of cigars and his 70’s style of dress. Nice Hawaiian shirt there, pops. Even heaven and it’s muted Vegas style with all the angels looking like any other person, just with wings.

For an anthology, everything still follows the main storyline pretty well and we get a variety of storytelling styles and art. It’s a bit strange when you forget it’s a collection of stories, which is easy to do when some of them flow so nicely together. As a whole, this is fairly entertaining, but I did expect more from the comedic side of things, though it has it’s moments. Since this also is meant to be a four book series, I’m not sure I find the entertainment value high enough to collect the rest. 

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