End of Series: Goblin Chronicles

2008 Ape Entertainment – 3 Issues

I really wanted to avoid writing anymore about this and just leave it out, but part of me struggles to come to terms with the very thoughts of omission. Writing down thoughts on an issue-to-issue basis is fine, but an examination of the series as a whole can be just as useful, if not more.

Damn my conscience and it’s cruel need to extend my suffering.

I’m keeping this short. I just don’t have the energy to rip into this steaming pile of gloop. It could have gone so much better with a few more issues and better writing. The very beginning had promise, a poor little goblin aspiring to be something his family rejects. That’s a good story. This sudden prophecy, the war, everything ruined all chances of this ever being good. Everything is so rushed and it’s just so stupid. STUPID!

I get so frustrated when I read the beginning of something that appeals to me and watch how it spirals down the toilet and I wonder what were they thinking?

I could just claw and scrape my face away and let myself rot in a corner from all this frustration. But it is over and never again must I subject myself to such a terrible children’s tale. But now is a time of rejoicing and moving on to better things and not having to deal with this flamin’ gloop anymore.

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Goblin Chronicles #3

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2008 | Ape Entertainment

Created By: Troy Dye | Tom Kelesides Writing: Troy Dye | Tom Kalesides
Art: Collin Fogel
Colour: Will Terrell
Letters: David Hedgecock

After getting through another issue of Lesbian Pirates, I ask myself why stop the suffering there? I’ve got one more issue of Gobbo’s to deal with then I never have to look at it again and I can get back to more interesting reads and pick out something new to get my teeth into.

The final issue and it’s nothing special. The whole final battle and end of the war crammed into 32 pages. The entire series could play out in a half-hour cartoon.  Ugh.

The stupidity finally reaches its max and I can barely take it. This is the worst thing I’ve read. I’m done. Finally.

Goblin Chronicles #2

2008 | Ape Entertainment

Created By: Troy Dye | Tom Kelesides
Writing: Troy Dye | Tom Kalesides
Art: Collin Fogel
Colour: Will Terrell
Letters: David Hedgecock

The Dark Queen has sent ment searching for the heroes the great wizard was speaking to, but all they can find are four brats. Still, they follow on hoping to be led to the real heroes.

No more.

I’m not even going to finish summarizing this issue. It hasn’t improved any and it’s childish, fantasy quality has sank to dumbness and the humour is dull. I don’t like it at all. It’s more like reading a horrible three issue adaptation of a children’s cartoon. The pacing is weird, it seems rushed, and you expect there to be more to it than presented.

One issue left. I don’t think I’ll make it.

The Goblin Chronicles #1

2008 | Ape Entertainment

Created By: Troy Dye | Tom Kelesides
Writing: Troy Dye | Tom Kalesides
Art: Collin Fogel
Colour: Will Terrell
Letters: David Hedgecock

Reading through the beginning I have flashes of Warcraft III’s opening video. Humans fighting Orcs until a new enemy, born from the heavens rains death and despair upon the battlefield. Only this is slightly different. We have Elves and Orcs fighting endlessly until forced to set aside their infinite feud and stand together to battle the Host – winged demons that came to snatch away their leaders and carry them away to their masters.

Then we’re transported to a Goblin village and meet a young goblin named Gorim whose behaviors and interests are far from typical for his kind and aspires to be a Gadgeteer, much to his parents’ dismay. He knows the time when goblins were much more than the barbarians they have since become. But his father will have none of it and the poor lad is forced to become a hunter. If he doesn’t do his father proud, it’s off to the bombardier brigade which amounts to the same thing as a suicide bomber. While on his first hunt with his beast blaster gadget he and his friend Tinker made, he meets and befriends a troll, an enemy of the Goblins. They have a squabble with the shapeshifter kid and thief, Sprig, and an Elf Sorceress who also happens to be a princess comes to their aid. And thus our party is formed, lured by the magic of a royal mage, now a tree, and tells them they need to stop the Dark Queen.

It seemed a little rushed, and odd how these different characters came together, but I can write it off as the mage’s summons. We also get some history of the time when all the races were united, how the Dark Queen came to be, why the races are at war with each other, what the Host is, and the prophecy of her downfall. All is very interesting, but I’ve seen it all before.

This book is in full colour and the art isn’t bad, but the paint just looks a little messy, blurry, the lines dirty, and just kinda sketchy in some panels.

The characters are pretty typical. The only one I’m fond of is the Troll that verbalises all his thoughts and wonders how various things taste barbequed. But none of them really stand out or appeal to me. This just seems like any other fantasy story out there.

It also has more of a children’s story feel to it, only written in a way to add adult appeal. I’m just not sure how much I like this, if that’s the proper word. It’s all so mediocre. I picked up all three issues at once, so I’m stuck with it. Maybe it will rise above and break the mediocrity and predictability.

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