I Was Kidnapped By Lesbian Pirates From Outer Space!!! #2

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Jul 2008 | Platinum Studios

Everything: Megan Rose Gedris

Susan’s with the pirates and they’re planning a bank heist. Enter Male Man, a super hero that happens to work at that bank, but arrives too late. After a successful heist, the ship crashes.

For whatever strange reason, I decided to read this. My overall opinion hasn’t changed. The inconsistencies of the art still bug mere. Here we have an attempt to capture an old style that switches back and forth from looking decent enough to morphing into what ends up looking like funky manga.

There were a couple moments that made me smile which was a lot more than the previous issue could achieve. The first moment involved Susan shooting holes through two of the pirates hair. The second moment was Susan validating the crime at the promise of shoe shopping.

I still don’t like it. If the comedy could have more of an effect on me, it’d be different.

I Was Kidnapped By Lesbian Pirates From Outer Space!!! – #1

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Mau 2008 | Platinum Studios

Everything: Megan Rose Gedris

This book was actually a finalist is Platinum Stuidio’s Comic Book Challenge in 2006. After you’ve read my thoughts, you might find yourself wondering as much as I what the competition was like if this got through.

Talk about old-school art. Lots of dots. Don’t particularly like it much at all. There’s no straight lines at all and some panels look dreadful. The only thing that looks good to me are the letters. I suppose it’s meant to be charming in an old way, but yuck. I hate it. I can’t get used to it and the inconsistency of quality really irritates me.

For the story, we’ve got a girl just out of college working as a secretary. It’s evident she likes the fairer sex, but at the beginning, we aren’t sure whether she’s conscious of this, or not, but I don’t really care at this point.

On her way home from the office, she’s forced to walk home and is followed by a Lesbian Pirate From Outer Space!!! She’s dressed in clothes that scream retro-sci-fi clubber, and our protagonist isn’t fazed until the ridiculous looking laser gun is brought-to-bear and she faints, waking up on their shiny space ship. After the big chase, we know why she was kidnapped. She’s a Lesbian Pirate From Outer Space!!!, too! Did I really ruin anything? No. This whole thing is a train wreck in my opinion. I can’t see where this is going, and I don’t care.

I mean, really? This is it? This is what you give us? Poor art and boring dialogue? I didn’t even so much as smile or snicker at any of it. The writing isn’t terrible, but it isn’t anything special, either. Actually, it’s rather awful. We get these witty remarks referencing the story actually being a comic which aren’t delivered well at all. It’s too bad to even groan over it.

What the Hell…

A 2006 finalist. It makes you wonder ho awful the rest of the entries were if this got through and made it to press. I can understand the judges must have read countless tales of crappy adventure, stupid romance, and nonsensical anecdotes to the point where they actually start being receptive to it. And that steaming pile of crap starts to look a little nicer. Those poor, poor judges. And poor us.

And it saddens me that, on a chance, I picked up the entire six issues run of this crap that doesn’t even come close to the mediocrity I would have tolerated. This is definitely a title to pick up at your own risk. I don’t expect it to get any better. And for those of you still thinking, there’s no nudity.

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