Juice Squeezers #1

Jan 2014 | Dark Horse

Writing | Art | Creation: David Lapham
Colour: Lee Loughridge
Letters: Nate Piekos of Blambot
Cover: David Lapham | Lee Loughridge

The Great Bug Elevator

Weeville, CA, has a bit of an underground bug problem-a giant bug problem. A group of tweens, called the Juice Squeezers, prowl through bug tunnels to take care of their vermin problem. Weeville has a bit of a problem, though. Valley May Farms was purchased by an agricultural engineer and his son and they have no idea the bug menace that lurks beneath the valley. It’s up to the Juice Squeezers to take care of the bugs and protect the Farnsburgers, but one can’t exactly easily hide giant bugs. Already, Billy Farnsburger has sighted giant bugs and things won’t end well when the digging starts.

I can’t get over the name Juice Squeezers. It’s so filthy and disgusting, and yet totally perfect. Of course a bunch of tweens would call themselves something like that. It is a bit amazing that they have the job they do, you would think the adults would get their panties all in a bunch at the thought of children doing dangerous things, but since they’re the only ones that can fit in the tunnels, what choice do people have?

This is really good stuff. I’m somewhat saddened that it’s only a four-issue mini, and I have half of it already, but I realize some things just evolve into crap if carried on to long and that would be a sad end to this great series. It doesn’t feel like a whole lot happened, I think because it went by so quickly. The kids return to the school to report what they had done and then learn about the selling of the farm. We then get a history lesson of what happened there and why it’s terrible and we pretty much know to expect the worse. When our tweeny heroes are prowling through the tunnels to make sure they’re all accessible and the family is above with construction equipment ready to dig out irrigation for their fields, I pretty much expected bugs to come swarming out like disturbed ants. I didn’t expect anything to happen to Billy despite his bug sighting.

I really like the art and I’m a big fan of comics that look like they could be animated. That’s turning into a new deal for me. I’d have to say, the weevils are my fave of the beatles I’ve seen. I’ve always liked how alien they look with their long faces and oddly bulbous bodies. I also like how our location is named Weeville. *snicker*

So, this is obviously on my pull list. I want to read the second, but I also feel like I should wait until I have all of it. I could just read through the rest of it in one go and not pine after it. Who’m I kidding, though? Issue #2, here I come!


Grindhouse – Doors Open At Midnight #2

CoverNov 2013 | Dark Horse

Writing: Alex de Campi
Art: Chris Eric Peterson | Marc Laming
Colour: Nolan Woodard
Letters: Alex de Campi
Cover:  Dan Panosian

Bee Vixens From Mars Part 2

It’s up to Deputy Garcia to save her small town from Bee Vixens From Mars in this action-packed conclusion.

This is one of those times where I’ve read something and just don’t have a whole lot to say about it. I really liked the first issue and this one kept up the B-movie feel. The progress of events were what you’d expect from a B movie and I particularly liked the little bee larvae om-nomming; they were adorable.  The Queen was pretty magical, too.

As far as the story is concerned, things concluded nicely and it had lots of bee action. It really did feel like I’m reading a comic adaptation of a movie, which happened to be the most important thing for me. It really hit the mark and I enjoyed it and I’m looking forward to the next movie: Prison Ship Antares.

S.H.O.O.T. First #1

CoverOct 2013 | Dark Horse

Writing: Justin Aclin
Art: Nicolas Daniel Selma
Colour: Marlac
Cover: Nicolas Daniel Selma

Part One: The Bottle Jinn

Religion is a lie. All the things which people have believed are just fuel for outsiders that use humanity’s blind faith to fuel their own power. With science winning, they plan to bring the prophecies they’ve seeded for thousands of years to bear. Enter S.H.O.O.T., humanity’s only defence against these paranormals.

This was quite good. Weird in the beginning and as far as concepts go, but as it went on, my interest rose. Many years ago I ran a campaign which followed this thread, but a bit more basically. Players made characters devout of faith and proceeded tumbling through the downward spiral called truth.  The truth that the beings of their faiths were nothing more than manipulative planars, as it were. I used Call of Cthulhu 5th edition as my engine. It was set in the 40s, and it did involve varying degrees of sanity loss from revelations the characters had and struggling against their indoctrination and dogma. It was a fun game, and this comic takes things further giving us an organization to fight these supernatural creatures.

Add this to my TV show want list. Seriously. This would be good, too.

It seems this may have a much deeper story within it, too. We have a little boy playing with his action figures who asks his mother, the field team leader, what happens after death. She knows Heaven is a lie, but she doesn’t tell her son anything. Her mom asks her why she doesn’t just tell him about heaven and she’s against telling him something that isn’t true. It’s an interesting position to be in, nevermind what happened at the end of this book.

We also have Infidel, an alleged N.A.T.O. translator who visited a mosque to tell God if he really existed, he didn’t want anything to do with him because of how much evil is in the world. I’m very interested in him especially with what got revealed about him.

This is getting scribbled onto my pull list.

Colder TPB

coverOct 2013 | Dark Horse

Writing: Paul Tobin
Art: Juan Ferreyra
Cover: Juan Ferreyra

Declan, an ex-resident of an asylum is taken in by a nurse and given care. He has a mysterious condition that which makes his body cold. He also has a strange ability to pass into the world only insane people can see and cure their ailments. Unfortunately, something there hunts him in the real world.

Wow. Just. Wow. When I started into this I didn’t stop until it was over. This book is perfect in art and prose and the story it tells leaves me questioning my own sanity at the end of it. Well, not really, but it certainly did things to me-pleasurable things. It was quite the ride and I had no idea where it planned to go.

The other side of the world that only the insane people could see is such a magical place! The strange buildings and layout, all those awful people and monsters and horrible things! They were the things I didn’t know I dreamed of.  They were such beautiful monstrosities! The giant bull dog-hands and that walking arm throne monster. The theatre that was packed with all those one-eyed… things. They were so creative and wonderful I found myself staring for great lengths in admiration. It may sound weird to some, but I really enjoy and admire good horribles. They are all beautiful to me in disturbing ways.

Nimble Jack has been added to my most favourite characters ever list. His gleeful insanity was so perfect and the things he’d do to people and Declan make me wonder about the sanity of his creator. It’s just one of those things were you wonder where did it all come from? How could anyone think up any of this unless it were all somehow real? Even the insanities were all believable to me. I’m having a Twilight Zone/Outer Limits moment, heh.

I’m left feeling empty now that it is over. I feel like a part of me, some colour, drained away-stolen and never to be regained. I’m just empty. None of it was real after all. I was never insane.

Akaneiro #1 – The Path of Cloak and Wolf Part One


May 2013 | Dark Horse

Writing: Justin Aclin
Art: Vasillis Lolos
Colour: Michael Atiyeh
Letters: Michael Heisler

Wow. Crap. I dislike it as much as the game and it really didn’t add anything for me. Also creepy the Ainu tattoo black smiles on their faces to make sure they always appear to smile even when they aren’t. And I’m talking BIG clown-faced black smiles. They even put in karma crystals. Really? A stupid currency that exists in the game for improving yourself and spending real money to obtain and it’s in the effing book. O. M. G.

In terms of story, it’s really stretching and painfully tiresome. We have two groups. Ainu and the Red Hunters living on the island. The Red Hunters kill dangerous yokai and protect everyone. When a ceremony is disrupted from a rampaging yokai, after our heroine, kani, helps red hunters defeat it, arbitrarily the Ainu wish to declare war on the Red Hunters. Like. WTF. Even when it’s established that the Red Hunters have helped them. This tenuous relationship between the two isn’t believably established. So how is it all resolved? Kani joins the Red Hunters to act as a liaison between the people. She’s not even Ainu, either. Her mother was, so that causes problems. And she must journey on her own without aid across Yomi island to the Red Hunter camp. And she’s already a kick-ass fighter, and nothing was previously established to indicate she would be.

About that Little Red Riding hood thing. Well, we have the references. She must don a red cloak and travel all the way to the Red Hunter camp. Plus some stupid misdirection which sends her to a place called Ghostclaw Village. There, they pretend to help her and we get our obvious reference during her weapon picking there. She can’t start her mission without one, but there are too many, so what does our wolf say?

The better to train you with my dear.

:IOWEJfaiow;fjaiow;hg;awehg;awehf;aiowefj. That’s my opinion of this. Blargh! So painful!

The wolf yokai looked pretty cool. I’ll give the book that much. One panel. That’s all to like. This is not some dazzling re-envisioning of Red Riding Hood adapted to Japanese folklore. It’s utter crap.

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